Changes

This Sunday's worship was particularly difficult for me. Pastor Julie announced that she would be leaving Calvary for a church in Decatur, Georgia. Even though I heard the news on Wednesday, it seemed more real today. Through my life, I've learned to accept the fact that ministers come and go. In a sense, that's what they do. This started at an early age with a favorite youth minister leaving, but it seems like letting go doesn't get any easier. But this time was different; Julie was different. Growing up in the Southern Baptist Church in the heart of the Bible-belt, I had never been exposed to a woman in power within a church, especiallly not as a pastor. She was a strong, powerful voice for God and that struck a cord in me somewhere deep inside. It's as though she empowered me to be the best minister I could be too. So, this morning the question struck me, how do we as Christians deal with the loss of a pastor? On one hand, we are sad because God is taking such an amazing person from our lives and essentially our family. But aren't we also called to be happy because God is moving in their life? Which is it? I can't handle both! For right now, it's sadness, but with God's help, it'll turn to joy. After all, it is Christ who is working through Julie; it's not anything she could do on her own. God is good all the time. He will provide Calvary with just what we need, but Lord, please heal the hurt.

While I was thinking about Julie and her work at Calvary, my mind began to drift to my ministry. Will people remember our work when we are gone? Are we simply gone or does our legacy live on? Julie's legacy will live on at Calvary, but can I say the same thing right now about my life and ministry? I think I can honestly answer that question with a resounding NO! Of course there are the few who would remember, but what am I doing for the kingdom today that is memorable? What is my impact? When I was struggling not too long ago with my depression (thanks be to God for medication!), I remember asking myself those questions everyday. Who will miss me when I am gone? Do I still wonder the same today, yeah, I do. I can't help but contemplate these things today.

Julie will be greatly missed. FBC Decatur is a lucky church. It is my hope and prayer to be half the minister that she was. What an amazing influence on my life.