My Papaw

I'm sure this is never, or should I say rarely, a conversation one might have with a parent: Your grandfather is in a mental institution. Those were the words that I heard just 15 minutes ago as I was on the phone with my mother. WHAT!!! Can you repeat that please?? I've known that the situation was bad, you can look at my facebook note and read about that, but I had no idea it was mental institution bad. Aparently, he went ballistic at the nursing home and began cussing and throwing punches! My 80+ year old grandfather! What in the world? How had it come down to this? I just don't understand. As I think back to my grandfather I have very good memories of my grandfather. I remember spending time with him in his workshop just piddling around with wood or whatever else we could find. I remember he saved my life once. I was hanging out with him at his office and I choked on a piece of candy and he beat my back until it came up. I remember the feel of his arms as he held me as I was crying afterwards. I remember him rescuing me after my wreck in high school. My parents were no where to be found, but he came, like a savior! Now when I look at him, I see a frail, malnutrished, and tired man. My heart hurts to see him now. I can't imagine this man who has always been so strong, now becoming so vulnerable. I can't help but think about what the future might hold for my grandfather. As my life, as well as the life of my family, is now changing, what does this mean for my grandfather? It is my prayer for peace and a security for my grandfather that only comes from God. Only God can understand the pain and hurt that my family is experiencing and I pray with all that is within me that somehow, someway, my grandfather may find peace.

If my grandfather could read this, I would tell him simply that I love him! Thank you for being that rock in my life and someone who always believed in me. Words are too few to express what I'm feeling, so I love you!