Feeling the blues

I'm really down today, not too sure what's going on. Class has really gotten me down lately. Syllabus shock has definitely set in but it's more than that. I'm questioning myself, as I do the start of every semester if this is the right place for me to be. I can't help but question because as those closest to me can vouch, I question everything. From relationships with people in my life to what I should eat for dinner, I'm constantly weighing my options.

I think a lot of it is that I'm physically and mentally exhuasted. I've literally worked and class-ed all summer long and my body is telling me that it's time for a break. Work is exhausting. I'm only there a short amount of time, but I'm starting to feel that this type of church work is really not for me. Children's ministry just might have been a phase.

I'm struggling with friendships that are lasting. I'm so thankful for the great friends I have, not only in central Texas, but also those in Arkansas. But with the good comes the bad, like pseudo- relationships or "what looks good in front of others" friendships. I've definitely been burned in the past year and I hate feeling like it'll happen again. Not to mention when you see those people every week. Not going to lie, it hurts a bit.

On a brighter note, I've started praying again. It's been a couple of years since I felt like praying. With everything that is going on with school, work, and friendships, for the longest time I felt like God was no where to be found. I know it's a learning experience, but that's not what I want you to tell me right now. I'm working on it.

JD and I celebrated our 5 month-iversary last night. At least I have one secure thing right now. It's great to be able to confide in him and have him still want to be with me.

It's just frustrating right now.